Simple Instructions

...another email from a friend...

This is the effect public education has had over the last 40 years.

In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer  Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos  You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap  "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners  "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom)  "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding  "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron  "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 yearolds with head colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid  "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights  "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor  "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts  "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts  "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume  "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw  "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)